It’s the little things – passengers

By | Category: Travel rumblings
what is flight etiquette  © Dan Sperrin

what is flight etiquette
© Dan Sperrin

Flying can help deflate your holiday memories or boost them so that they become everlasting. Unfortunately, deflation seems to occur to me more often.

Readers will know that I am in Orlando this week for the big US travel sales pitch to the rest of the world. It used to be called Pow-Wow which summed it up quite nicely. Now it is called IPW which I suppose stands for international pow-wow but in the marketing dominated world, IPW probably sounded more modern; Pow-Wow sounds more fun!

Anyway, I digress. Obviously to get there from I have to fly and that means I have to sit next to someone. If I am lucky enough not to have a baby screaming somewhere within earshot, (the babies were well-behaved on this flight) then I seem to be the one that gets a talkative one disturbing my film viewing or reading. Yesterday I got the talkative one.

For three hours I was asked whether I wanted to go to heaven or hell. Deep theological arguments are not my idea of sociable chit-chat but conversations about the need of my life at 39,000 feet, even less so. If flight disaster movies are usually banned from plane journeys maybe so should be my companion.

What is the “correct” flying etiquette? Do I say thank you but I need to finish this book, report, film etc and appear uncompanionable? Do I say I am an atheist and hope that he would desist but what religious zealot doesn’t fancy his chances of a conversion? I decided to humour him which was the wrong thing to do as the conversation lasted three hours.

A trip to the loo and sudden cramp necessitating in my having to walk up and down the aisle didn’t deter him. The cabin crew served a snack but even that interruption didn’t make him pause other than for a mouthful of sandwich.

I adopted a branch of Christianity that should have flawed him; some mythical non-established version where the bible was regarded just as a means to explain and truthfulness was limited. The ten commandments and fairness but equality in all things was my chosen one. I found out that it didn’t what I chose because all he really wanted to do was hear the sound of his own voice punctuated by “you see where God is coming from,” every other sentence.

Anyway when we parted, he seemed happy enough. I, on the other hand…

If you enjoyed this post, please consider subscribing to the RSS feed to have future articles delivered to your feed reader.
Tags: , , , ,