The curious incident of the biscuit in the tavern

By | Category: Travel rumblings

Hobnobs; the ultimate winning prize!

Most people will have heard the story of the prosecution of people in Albufeira for playing bingo
All establishments – according to Portuguese law – have to be licenced for gambling and it seems that the Yorkshire Tavern was not. So, on the face of it, it seems to be a fair cop. After all, the law is the law. Players were fined €300, non-players €150 and the tavern keeper, €700.
The local police officer report might have gone like this…

On local orders into illegal gambling, the tavern had been staked out for ten days or so. During that time there were a few games but nothing big. Guv, you shouldn’t have made us stay there for all that time. There are only so many custard creams and garibaldi biscuits a copper can take before his shirt buttons pop. But then we got what we were waiting for. The Big One. The stakes were chocolate hobnobs and the entry was a whole euro. All the big shots were there, all those we have been tailing since Interpol and Miss Marple tipped us off that something was on the cards. You know that old dear in her eighties Guv? She won big tonight. She got the whole packet. Didn’t even share them with us.

There were people from all over attracted by those hobnobs. They came from as far away as Villamoura but we were smarter. They’d been tailed by the local fraud squad who were checking into the illegal coating of rich tea biscuits with chocolate and passing them off as hobnobs. We were all prepared to force entry through the windows, the door and down the chimney except they didn’t have a chimney . Anyway the twelve of us charged the place and even though we were outnumbered we got ‘em all.

What a horrible bunch Guv! Those three on their mobility scooters from the golf club; that couple who flew in on Ryanair yesterday who were flashing their five euro notes around like they were made of money and, wait for this guv, that young couple with the Scottie terrier that moved into the district last week? They were eating cream horns and boasting that they ate chocolate hobnobs every day! That group from the village ladies knitting circle and the men from the cribbage club were there. That’s when we were sure something was on. It had to be what we were waiting for. We had to raid it. You can’t have duty-free hobnobs destabilising our market and getting into everyone’s hands. So we got all 28 of them including the landlady.

A good haul eh Guv? That’ll get us some nice headlines around the world about how efficient the Albufeira police are. Shouldn’t wonder if we don’t get awards for what we’ve done.

With thanks to The Portugal News for details of the story

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