Airport hassles

By | Category: Travel rumblings

In 1928, the American entertainer, Eddie Cantor first sang the song “Makin’ Whoopee.” Since then it has become a standard with people like Frank Sinatra, Ella Fitzgerald, Ray Charles and Cyndi Lauper recording versions. Even Rod Stewart and Elton John have performed the song as a duet.  The music and lyrics are simple and various alternative versions have been concocted over the years. You can hear most of the “usual” versions on You Tube including that by Cantor and a version by Michelle Pfieffer in “Those Fabulous Baker Boys”.

Last week, stuck in an airport as my plane was delayed, a fellow passenger whiled away the time coming up with some new and more pertinent lyrics. I think I have managed to get them all down but my apologies if I have missed any.  Since I don’t know his name all I can write is to thank him for making the wait a little more bearable.

Here, then, is “Airport Hassles” by anonymous.

Another flight, the timing’s tight
Will things be easy? Will things be right?
I couldn’t say, another day
With airport hassles

I’ve packed my bags, tied on the tags
My wife is waiting, gesticulating
She has a thought, she‘s getting wrought
our airport hassles.

The plane is late, such is our fate
The queues are great so we must wait
How can we bear it, at least we share it
these airport hassles

We’re off to Rome, not all alone
A hundred others, my travelling brothers
We’re all still waiting, and contemplating
These airport hassles

My bag is searched, my names besmirched
They found some water, more than I oughta
It’s confiscated, I’m so frustrated
With airline hassles.

We’re through at last, the trouble’s passed
Now we can board, amongst the horde
The problem’s ended, our troubles mended
Gone are airport hassles?

We spoke to soon, and change our tune
The planes gone tech, our trips a wreck
We must alight, a different flight
We’ve more airport hassles!


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