J’accuse Cumbria

By | Category: Travel news

540624_num1131804Today is St David’s Day, a Welsh day of significance where daffodils, leeks and sheep take centre stage in the celebrations.

But not this year. It has been ruined by Cumbria and I accuse Cumbria of sheep rustling.

Sheep are as synonymous with the Welsh nation as apple pie is to America yet, on this most special of days, Cumbria has launched a sheep-themed fleet of new electric cars so that visitors are available to explore the landscape of lakes and fells.

The ten electric Renault ‘Twizys’ are now available to hire out from tourism businesses in the Ullswater and Keswick areas. The Cumbrians claim that to make the vehicles distinctively Cumbrian, each has been branded with its own distinctive sheep personality and named in traditional dialect (a mix of Westmorland and Cumberland numbers). The names are Yan, Tyan, Tethera, Methera, Pip (it should be Pimp is the local dialect) Sethera, Lethera, Hovera, Dovera and Dec (it should be Dick but I think a bit of political correctness has crept in).

A video issued by the Cumbrians shows a shepherd herding these vehicles and wondering what his  grandad would think.

I can tell you.

He would be upset that upstanding Cumbrians should have trod on the toes of their Welsh farming colleagues by usurping a God given Welsh right to be forever linked with sheep! It would be like the Welsh claiming that they have first dibs on rainwater when everyone knows it rains more in the Lake District than in Wales.

And the Welsh wouldn’t give them such daft names, well numbers just 1-10, to the sheep-cars. They would give them proper names like Dafad, Nafad, Defaid, Cig Oed, Gwlan Myllt and so on.

The shepherd says that these sheep-mobiles are the way of the future. That may be so but it should be a Welsh feature. Why hasn’t Visit Wales or any of the other tourist boards objected? The answer? They have something better lined up for next St David’s Day. Wales has more than one icon. Sheep are daft creatures with no fire in their bellies. But dragons are powerful, strong and important in Welsh heritage.

So be prepared next year to welcome the Dragon-mobile, a powerful fire-breathing car that will turn anyones’s head and can do 0-2,000 feet high in seconds! How ill Cumbria compete with that?

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