Want to be a Christmas elf?

By | Category: Travel tips & opinions
See the elf? Right at the back and not even riding in the sled. better working conditions for elves I say!

See the elf? Right at the back and not even riding in the sled. Better working conditions for elves I say!

I’ve done quite a lot of jobs in my time – milkman, petrol pump attendant, (back when there were such things) builder’s mate, delivery man but I haven’t yet got around to being an elf.

What does an elf do for a start? Apart from wear strange clothes. At any department store at Christmas there used to be elves acting as child controllers to guide expectant children on to Santa’s lap to receive their Christmas presents and then shoo them away quietly when they didn’t quite get that fabulously expensive toy they really wanted.

In ski resorts they have a slightly different function and here is your opportunity to become one for the upcoming winter season. Hotelplan who own Inghams, Santa’s Lapland, Esprit and Ski Total are hiring elves to work at the sites abroad.

“As an Elf you will assist Santa Claus to ensure each families visit to Lapland is a special and magical one” the job ad says. That rules me out then as I don’t think I can be child friendly for more than a nano-second or two. Elves will spend a fair amount of time outdoors as well as in Santa’s cabin, meet and greet the guests at the airport and ensure all of the presents are wrapped ready for Santa to deliver according to the job description and I think I could cope with that. I don’t mind the cold and I could always secrete a flask about my person if it got really biting outside. I’ve wrapped presents for years and sometimes, the wrapping even stays in place until getting ripped apart with no thought for the effort I had made.

That's better - inside and supervising. I can supervise. Maybe I could be an elf after all.

That’s better – inside and supervising. I can supervise. Maybe I could be an elf after all.

They want responsible applicants with previous experience and training in acting will be considered. I was in the school play once or twice but does Macbeth count? He wasn’t that nice to people although no children got hurt in the making of it apart from me when I got a splinter from a wooden sword I carried. I’m definitely responsible although I won’t admit to what I’m responsible for but as for experience? I have raised two children. Isn’t that good enough? Heck I used to do the school run taking kids of all ages to cricket, hockey, swimming and all those other things that occupy parents let alone the kids.

But where I will really fail is that I seem to need to have a “comprehensive and constant commitment to the Santa story” because “children’s dreams are at stake.” Coming from the bah humbug school, I think I may not get to be an elf after all.

But if you fancy your chances of being an elf or working in ski resorts, then click here.

As for me, I’ll just play Scrooge instead.

 

 

 

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